Is This a Boy Thing, a Kid Thing, or is My Child Just a Freak?

Somebody tell me that it's not just my kid! All kids or at least boys torture their mothers with the following behavior. I'm past sounding like a broken record. I must utter the phrase, "Not your shirt!" at least 100 times a day. Obviously, once it's too late & the shirt has already been stained. I wish this was just an issue that we dealt with during meals. But it happens everywhere.

At the table, I take the much calmer approach of saying, "Don't use your shirt. Use your napkin." I only have to say it every 5 seconds, no big deal! I've become a master at working that phrase into regular dinner conversation without even skipping a beat. I'm quite sure that Anh doesn't even hear it anymore. The phrase works similar to a dog whistle, only those under age 5 can hear it.

But, no, this is not just an issue while dining. Jax seems to experience great joy from staining all of his shirts. I get that it's easier or more entertaining for him to dig in his nose with his finger rather than ask for a tissue. I mean he's 3, and he's a boy! I get it! But, when he sees me getting a tissue out of my purse for him, why must he immediately wipe his hand across the front of his shirt. As if that's not bad enough, he'll giggle and look at me with this expression that clearly reads, "Ha ha! I love torturing Mommy!"

I try to take precautions that will ward off stain opportunities. I do my best to provide him with only clear or relatively clear liquids. I try to avoid dipping sauces, but he's kind of gotten wise to this and now demands them. Ketchup is evil, by the way. I don't buy white shirts. I carry the tide pen & shout wipes. Jax is a stain master though. He always manages to get something past me.

If I'm lucky, he'll refrain from this sort of behavior until the end of the day. He's a smart kid though. He always knows when I absolutely don't want him to stain his shirt, like if we're heading somewhere "fun" and pictures will definitely be taken. It's like an alarm goes off in his head and he's driven by an absolute need to create a stain. Please tell me all kids do this. Tell me that my son hasn't discovered this is the ultimate form of torture for his neat freak mother.