Blasts From The Past

On the eve of the our nation's birthday, I thought I'd share a few stories from the 4ths of the past. We've had some truly memorable celebrations. Ironically, most of the stories don't revolve around us. We were simply present for the high jinks.

The first tale that comes to mind is one from my childhood. Growing up in Georgia, you had to plan ahead for the 4th of July. Fireworks of any kind (even sparklers) were illegal. Although, if you were like us & picked up fireworks in any of the bordering states prior to the big day, the police weren't on a mission to ruin your fun. As long as you stayed low profile and didn't tick off any of your neighbors, you were pretty much guaranteed a fun, police-free time.

However, you can't blame the neighbors for the abrupt ending to our fireworks show in 1988. Nope, the neighbors had nothing to do with it. The real culprit was the infamous roman candle. Oh, the excitement of watching those brilliantly colored balls of fire fly through the night sky! I'm not sure the things actually come with instructions, but my dad (Grandfather) always stuck them in the ground angled away from us & the house, lit the end, and then stood back to watch the show.

Well, that was the routine until Grandfather came to the conclusion that holding the roman candle would be much more fun. Man, talk about a brilliant idea. That is until one of the candles misfired, and one of the flaming balls shot out the back end, right into my 3-year old sister's eye! Poor Aunt Kelly! Actually, she wasn't really hurt, just shaken up. The experience pretty much scared the you-know-what out of everyone.

After that, my mom (Grandma) permanently banned fireworks from our household. I do remember Grandfather slowly reintroducing them after a few years had passed, but you better believe there were no roman candles. She wasn't happy about any of it, but Grandma definitely wasn't tolerating the return of roman candles!

Fast forward a number of years to 2000, our first year in Wichita. Anh had just started his surgery residency a few days earlier, and given that we had been in town less than a month, we only knew a handful of people. We celebrated the holiday with Diane who we had met while house-hunting. Little did we know, she would become one of our best friends.

At that point, we barely knew Diane though. When she arrived at our house, she looked a little pale and passed on both the beer & wine we were serving. Like I said before, we didn't know her too well, but we knew it wasn't like her to pass on either of those offerings. The woman could drink anyone under the table!

Diane told us that she suspected she had an inner ear infection because her equilibrium was off. She also shared that she had spent the better part of the morning with an upset stomach. Hours later, the truth finally came out! Diane had decided to kick off the holiday weekend by enjoying "a few" beers in her backyard garden the previous night. Inner ear infection...right! The woman was hungover!

For years, any time Diane would complain of a mystery ailment, we would ask whether she had been hitting the bottle again. It was our little inside joke right up to the end. When she visited us after our move to Florida, she arrived with a laundry list of ailments including some balance issues and feeling lightheaded. We teased her, saying she really needed to lay off the sauce. Man, I wish that had been it!

Anyway...back to happier times. Over the next 4 years, it became tradition to go out to our friends', Dwayne and Carol, house. Every year, they invite all their friends over for a 4th of July cookout. Everyone brings a dish and, of course, fireworks. 2001 was when we first discovered the magic of mortar bombs! Forget sparklers and bottle rockets...Mortar bombs are the real deal!

We were having a grand ol' time watching "the rockets red glare" and "bombs bursting in air," when all of a sudden 1 of Dwayne's 2 dogs went charging towards a mortar with a lit fuse. Talk about a freak out, roughly 30 people screamed the dog's name in panicked unison, "Peppy!" Thank God Peppy heeled! That would not have been pretty.

Our first 4th of July in Florida was also memorable. Anh's family was in town, and we decided to go all out! We spent a small fortune on fireworks that year. At dusk, we started the display in front of house, but quickly ended up out back by the pond. The majority of us sat on the back patio and watched as Al and Anh took turn shooting off big mortar bombs that were just a notch below what you'd see at a professional show. We had quite a few spectators.

Each of us took a turn lighting roman candles too. Yes, the infamous roman candles were purchased. We, clearly, were just asking for trouble! All was going well until we let Anh's mom (Ba Ba) have a turn. She lit her roman candle, overlooking the fact that Al was actually lighting the fuse to a mortar bomb right in front of her! The roman candle fired, and the shot bounced straight up Al's back and through his hair at the exact moment that he lit the fuse to the mortar bomb. He was frozen in fear, hunched over the mortar, expecting the next candle shot to hit him when the bomb ignited and shot within inches of his face. Let's just say Uncle Al was not very happy with his mom, but he seemed especially ticked off with the rest of us who laughing hysterically. It was all you could do really! He wasn't hurt after all!

Sadly, that wasn't the last of the fireworks drama that evening. A few minutes later, Al or Anh was lighting another fuse when the mortar toppled over and the bomb launched right at us on the patio. It was one of those experiences when time seems to pass in slow motion. We all screamed and jumped out of our seats, running away from the patio into the yard. I knew the bomb was going to explode on the patio. The only uncertainty was whether it would blow the windows, walls, or concrete to bits. As we all turned around and looked back, waiting for the big bang, we were horrified to see that Kyle was still sitting in his chair on the patio oblivious to the impending danger! I'm sure we were all thinking the same thing, "Oh shit!" just in various languages.

BOOM! When the smoke cleared, our ears were ringing, but Kyle was fine. Right behind him on the patio was a big black spot where the bomb had exploded. The windows, concrete, and Kyle had all survived. Whew! That was a close one!

Gee...does anyone see a theme in my tales. One would think that we'd have learned our lesson by now. Fireworks are dangerous! I guess that's just part of the fun. Happy 4th of July, Everyone! We hope you have a blast, but no close calls!